winterseaspray: (edges)
So, I know I write a lot of 'goal' type things, and most of the time its to avoid the whole, having to do things thing. Well its almost July, and I have been thinking about Harry Potter and how the movie series is about to end. Here is what I'm thinking about.

1. Rereading the entire series
2. Rewatching the movies (I do own them all now)
3. Relistening to the series?

Anyways, I will be re-watching probably the week before the eighth movie so if anyone wants to join me in this endeavor, I can make it into a real thing and invite people. So, you know, just let me know. :D

Oh and as a random side note about my actual life: I have not gotten a job yet. I have, however, undertaken a crazy plan to write a novel in 9 days -- you know instead of the 3-day-novel thing I have done, and NaNo. I'm blogging/tweeting about it so if you want to know what's up with me, its best to check out Twitter or Blogspot.
winterseaspray: (walls)
I have created a mood theme from the comic Scandinavia and the World. I love it and its super cute and funny. I spend quite a bit of time going back and re-reading it. Anyways, here it is:



Apr. 25th, 2011 12:36 am
winterseaspray: (dark)
I'm starting to write down the dates when I finish things for myself. I will include re-reads. First time reads will be bolded. Audiobooks will be included and marked with a *.

Book List )
winterseaspray: (edges)
RIP Elizabeth Sladen.

I just read the statement by the BBC and Russel T Davies, and oh its so sad. It made me cry.

All I can say is, Elizabeth Sladen was brilliant, and brought a huge energy to Doctor Who, and her own show, and whenever I saw her I wanted to bounce out of my seat because she's just so great. I wish there was a better way to commemorate her -- but I haven't seen her whole body of work, just the little bit from Ten's time, and one episode from the Sarah Jane Adventures, but I do know that she was beautiful and talented and had a great energy to her that made people like her.

Here's what was written about her on BBC America: here, if you're interested.

winterseaspray: (dark)
The advantages of graduating:

1. Time to read. I have already started taking advantage of this with my kindle. This is a problem now that I have to pass three classes but books are just so engrossing. I'm excited for a time when I can commute to work and read on the train.

2. The prospect of decorating an apartment. Kat, her current roommate Sacha, and I have put in a deposit for an apartment. The lease starts in September, which is great as I currently don't have a job. My parents have even agreed to cosign for it (my original plan did not include this, but OH WELL).

3. The prospect of living with KITTENS!

4. Going out has become mandatory on weekends, or else I'm wasting my senior year.

5. I have one more duty.

6. Three tests, four lab reports, a paper, a presentation and a movie project are all that remain between me and graduating.

7. In a few weeks, I will no longer work where I live -- no more random knocking on the door that means I will have to deal with a terrible problem!

8. Job hunting may become easier when I'm in the city I want to live in.

9. No more cisco clean access!


blargh. I want there to be ten.
winterseaspray: (cellophane)
I can sense it creeping up on me.


I don't want to leave DC and the pretty weather (well, not so pretty at the moment) and my friends here. I don't want to leave all the bits of DC I love -- the bars, the monuments, the museums, campus. I love it here. Why, again, do I want to go back to Boston?

I know why... I do. But I can feel the lurking depression of not knowing what's going to happen creeping up on me and I just want to stay in school FOREVER.
winterseaspray: (hat)
Weekend Shenanigans:

Bryan was in town which was excellent. He wanted to get wasted and me and Carolyn were perfectly willing to cooperate with that. Carolyn wanted to go to a lecture, so we decided to do a late dinner and start drinking then. We went to Krammers, which is the bookstore/bar/restaurant. This place is awesome because you just hang out in the bookstore while waiting for your table. UNFORTUNATELY it also requires quite a lot of will power to not, you know, buy everything you see. I have added to my list of books I want to read... which is no where online so lets put that up here: Boooooooks! )

Anyways, back to Krammers. We got food (it was wicked expensive) and a drink (also wicked expensive) and Bryan bought me a drink, and it was fun. We discussed our lives and the capacity of dreams and how we need to follow them. I knew Carolyn loves to read (hello, why would I be friends with her if not) but I didn't know she likes to write as well. Not fiction though, more history and politics and things like that. It was good to now. I discussed how I might want to move to LA and write for TV, and we talked about the fact that none of us are sure of how to get to where we want to go.

After Krammers we headed out and got on the metro. Bryan was quite drunk at this point, and I was feeling very expansive (and speaking in the unfortunate British accent I can't get out of when I've had too much to drink... okay, not too much, a very little x.x). We got on the metro to get Carolyn home, but we managed to get her to get off at Tenley instead of Friendship (they are one stop apart) so that we could walk Bryan home.

While waiting for the shuttle Bryan began to feel more sober, and wanted to be not sober, so we brought him over to Murphy's, a local bar, and got him another drink before walking Carolyn home. Then me and Bryan headed back up to Tenley and I walked him home. We talked quite a bit, and he basically said at one point that he believed in me, and had faith I would figure out what I wanted and would get it.

So there I was on Mass ave, walking home, and it kept going around and around in my brain and then, I started crying for apparently no reason. Minor breakdowns while walking home are interesting. It was partly because I couldn't get the thought of 'What am I doing? How to I not cop out of doing the right thing for me? How do I get to be a person who is worth good things happening to?' had been on my mind since Wednesday, just rolling around in there and making me uncomfortable and unhappy.

The thing I like about Bryan is that with him I am not a logical person, because he is even more so then me. It gives me the leave to be the wild and out there person that I often wish I was more like. I think I am his Genki Girl. Its funny considering my normal personality. Its not even that it happens when we're drunk, I'm always like that when I'm around him. I think its because he needs it -- someone to call him on his shit and make him do things he's not super comfortable with and make fun of him, an awful lot.

I think being that person made me think about how I would like to be more like that person when I'm not around Bryan: a little more impulsive, willing to take risks, and a little bit happier. Then again, I don't think a lot when I'm like that, and being like that all the time would make me unhappy too. Its why you have more then one friend.

Anyways, so the breakdown was related to that feeling of being slightly off, and not the person I wanted to be. And then I thought about what I did want, who I want to be. This got me on the idea of moving to LA in May. I had tried to sort out my motives for it earlier, and the main reason was it would highlight the fact that I want to write for TV and I should just fucking do it already.

But then the thought occurred to me that it still felt like a cop out, and this is the point when I realized that one of the reasons I want to write for TV is that its the financially viable form of writing serial characterizations. What I really want, the major thing I want, I suppose, because it does not diminish the wish to write TV, is to write a novel.

Dreams work best for me when they are purely for me, not for anyone else or their own stuff. Money is great, but if I am writing for the money, then I'm not doing it right. I mean, I could be, eventually doing it right, but I am wary of writing because I want money -- that does not seem like a dream worth having. To me at least.

So I was walking down Mass ave and I figured out that writing for TV was something I wanted, but not as much as the novel thing, and it was a purer goal to write a novel (in my terms, this is all about how I feel about things, not necessarily the Truth for everyone). If I moved to LA, I would have to write for TV, otherwise it would be a waste of my time and effort and I don't want to move to LA really for any other reason then the writing. If I wrote for TV, and worked in a lab, I wasn't going to be able to write a novel.

So I got to that point, and there went moving to LA in May.

The new plan is to edit a novel over the next year -- truly edit and make it work -- and send it out. And that is something I can do anywhere. And since money is a factor in where I live, Boston makes the most sense.

So yes, there was that. I am pretty sure about this decision. I feel good about it. The nervousness that was associated with moving to LA didn't feel like being scared of changing cities and starting out on my own, but the fear that I was doing it for the wrong reasons. This I feel like I am doing for the right reasons, for me, and for the dreams that I have and wish for.

Anyways, so that was Friday night. Saturday morning was taken up with work, and then a nap, and then more work (desk work) and then sleeping some more. Talking to Kat. Meandering a bit. Decorating our imaginary apartment. Thinking about things and so on and so forth. I should have done real work, but instead I was distracted and didn't.

Then I went out with staff. We were supposed to go to Hawk and Dove around 11, but then Iyad at 10:30 was like "We're heading out now" and I was confused and figured I should probably take the train down. Then Alyssa texted me and we went to the swim house. We were celebrating Chris's birthday, and he's a swimmer. Got there, Rachel and Bill were really drunk, Alyssa was cheerful, Chris was quite out of it, Katie was feeling good. It was fun and alcohol was very involved.

Then we all left to go to Hawk and Dove at like, 11:30, only me and Katie had to wait for James to arrive so we could split the cab fare. We got to the bar and there was a line out of the door down the street. This is strange because Hawk and Dove is not a classy place, in fact its kind of a dive. We waited in line for an hour... it was strange and weird and everyone kept complaining and JRob and Giuliana left eventually because they didn't want to wait.

Inside it was even crazier. You couldn't move on the dance floor because there were so many people and you literally broke out in a sweat before you got up the stairs. So I oscillated between being upstairs where the dancing was happening and downstairs where I could breathe. I texted Jasper at some point in the evening and he thought it was funny. But then he made a comment that implied that he had been arrested and I was like "WTF?!?!?" So I called him. I read the text wrong. He was by the jail. Yeah, SLIGHT difference!

We left around 2:30 and some people got in cabs and some people got on the train. I went on the train -- had run out of money by then (I got out cash earlier to prevent myself from spending ALL my money) -- so I got on the train too. We were all just drunk and amused. This guy from GW was on the train with us and he was all "So where you guys coming from?" and we were like "Hawk and Dove" and he informed us that it was college dems night at Hawk and Chris found this hilarious because most of our group was conservative.

I pointed out I was so liberal it hurts sometimes, and he was all "I'm more conservative then you are liberal," and I begged to differ. He was all "I'm from Ala-fucking-bama." It was at this point that he, very loudly, on a train with quite a few black people, went "You know Rosa Parks, we don't like her where I'm from."

We got off of that train.

We got back to campus at like, 4 and Chris wanted to get McDonalds, so we did. He was wearing his Cookie Monster hat when he walked in and he convinced the girl at the register to give him free cookies because of his hat. FTW!

Then I came back and went to bed. And nooooooow. I have a ton of crap to do. YAY. School work sucks.
winterseaspray: (cellophane)
Two posts in one day? This can't be possible! Oh, but it is. I was wandering around today, applying for jobs, wishing I could sleep and/or avoid tonight somehow (going out with the RAs again... fun yes, but fun is so expensive) when I got an e-mail from ao3 telling me that there was a gift for me.

It being February I was understandably confused as Yuletide ended ages ago and I haven't got many friends (read any) in fandom at the moment, but I open it up and...

Well, this was there all shiny and new and so brilliantly funny and sweet and just...

Yuletide is over, but it was a response to one of the prompts I put up for Yuletide, namely Roy/Jen from IT Crowd (excellent show) and it was fantastic.

Anyways, I am quite sure no one on my flist has watched this sweet, adorable show, and therefore it won't matter to them, but if you have, read the fic up there. Its just...

There are no words.
winterseaspray: (struggle)
I don't believe in signs, except when I do.

I had a conversation with Maddie about her life, and how she's confused about what she's doing and where she's going and how she is really not at all sure what it all means and whether she can go through with the doctor thing.

People struggle and are torn to bits, and you have to find things and make them better.

All of the adds for the past three days on livejournal have been for Medline, a button old people wear around their necks in case they fall down.

And I have always believed in the fact that if you try hard enough and you have some talent, things will happen for you.

Nothing worthwhile has ever come easy, and they don't write songs about the ones that come easy.
winterseaspray: (hai)
So I was in the middle of this giant post for my blog about things (writing things, hence, other place to write about them) and I got distracted by kittens. Kat's kittens first, and then I remembered that there was an icon with David Tennant with kittens and went searching for when this happened.

WOW I FORGOT THE EPISODE WHERE THERE ARE KITTENS. Probably because it was in season 3. I love season 3, don't get me wrong, but watching it is painful because of Martha. I love her, she's my favorite companion, but sometimes I just want to cry because of the way the Doctor treats her. OH THE FEELINGS THEY ARE SO COMPLICATED AND I CAN'T... I WANT TO SHUT DOWN PLEASE?! CAN I BE A ROBOT?

Anyways, so I went and created icons from it and then I decided I needed BBT icons, and s60 icons, and Mr. Sunshine icons (which, despite the reviews, I quite like and am wondering why they keep complaining that Matthew Perry is like Chandler... is this a bad thing?).

Anyways. So I've been making more icons but I HAVE NO ROOM FOR THEM. SAD. I was thinking about adding icon space but then realized I don't post enough for it to be worth it. Still.

Nor do I say anything of substance. :D

Um anyways, I was pondering what shows I watch again. I think I have quite a comprehensive list over on my blog, but in watching Sports Night I realized where I knew Casey from -- Dirty Sexy Money. I had completely forgotten I watched that and loved it (it was a while ago, okay) but it just came up to watch on Netflix and I was like "Holy crap its Casey playing Nick!"

What other shows have been quietly canceled that I did really like when they came out but have somewhat forgotten about?

Anyways, I was just thinking about it and how I've never finished Ugly Betty or watched any of this season of Private Practice and it seems like ABC is failing me in many ways.

Um, so there was no point to this. I just wanted to post something with the new icon. THERE IS A KITTEN ON DAVID'S SHOULDER GUYS.

edit: So I kind of forgot about this, but I had a dream that I had failed third grade (as had all of my friends) and we had to go back and repeat it after graduating college (don't ask how this worked). Anyways, I found out I was pregnant with Eddie's baby, which seemed odd since we had never had sex, but whatever. Anyways, I kept having discussions with out people about what to do and trying to find Eddie to tell him, but he was never around. It was thoroughly unsettling. It was also very scripted and I had some directorial control over the events going on which meant I could organize obstacles in my way to getting to talk to Eddie. Which I did -- because the drama would be better.

I think its time I either write my TV show and head off to California or give up on writing all together. My subconscious can't handle the drama of not knowing.
winterseaspray: (edges)
Shows I am pondering watching when I get around to it:

Stargate (SG-1 apparently? I'm working out this show... apparently there are many versions)
Red Dwarf (British space opera comedy, what more could I want?)
Heroes (I have seen season 1 and kind of pretended the show ended there, but I suppose I could attempt it further)
Lost (Also have seen season 1, don't remember it in the slightest. I think I was annoyed with it and so didn't finish it)
Finishing The West Wing (I have a resident who wants me to finish it desperately. Can I get through the Josh/Donna stuff?)
The Sarah Jane Adventures (I watched the pilot because I read this really cute fic that was a giant crossover from DH, SJA and Young Wizards, and became curious about the show. Plus, I liked Sarah Jane in DH... and the Doctor appears in it at least once... So, a possibility)
Dexter (I keep getting told this is a great show, so thinking of trying it)
The Tudors (I've been told its great, plus its period and I like that sort of thing... so maybe?)
Farscape (I've heard mixed things about this show, but its space and I'm in a rather space-y mood due to a recent watch of a couple of BSG episodes)
Eureka (heard great things about this show, and it looks interesting)
Dead Like Me (I watched a couple of episodes of this and it was amusing and sad, but hadn't gotten its legs yet so I was a little iffy on it. I do want to continue it though. Its supposed to be great)
Terminator: The Sarah Jane Chronicles (I know it got cancelled, but Summer Glau is in it, so I might just watch it for her)
Chuck (Watching it for Adam Baldwin BDH)
Fringe (because it has a musical episode)
Tru Calling (for Eliza. I really like her despite some of her issues. Probs because she's from Boston <3)

So I should probably stop looking eh?
winterseaspray: (look)
So I got bored and made icons and then I decided to just go with it and upgraded my account. I'm pondering a Psych mood theme.

Anyways, I am posting my icons mostly because I can't use them all, which makes me sad, but whatever!

rawr icons )
winterseaspray: (hat)
Hey guys, I just wanted to say I have the bestest best friend ever.

She's not here, so I can't tell her, but ACK I JUST LOVE HER.

Okay, that's it.
winterseaspray: (la fille danse)
I went out last night with the other RAs on my staff, plus some other people from South Side, who were also RAs. I didn't really want to. There were boards to be done, and people to be talked to, and basically a lot of shit to get done. But I have this thing where I know I should go out, and be a person and not stay in, plus, if I was gonna get drunk, I might as well do it before classes start. So I did.

People seemed thoroughly entertained that I was going out. Apparently it was shocking that I was not behind the desk. I would be offended, but I was kind of shocked I was going out too, so it was fine. I got in the cab with Bill, Alyssa and Chris and we headed off to Hawk an' Dove (which always sounds like Häagen-Dazs to me so I was tentative to say it out loud to anyone). I was a little annoyed about the cab to be honest. It wasn't horribly expensive, but I just don't like thinking about it. Anyways we get to the bar, and we have to wait for the others.

When Katie and JRob get there (they are the other people who are legally allowed to drink), we get drinks, and I set up a tab (oh yes, how scary is that?). When Forrest and Jon and a few of the other South Side RAs show up, we go up to the dance floor.

It was really very fun. I mean, I was drunk by then, so I could act like an idiot and not care, which was part of it. Bill, who is new and young and had never been clubbing before, was super awkward and adorable, so I ended up worrying he wasn't having fun. I kept dancing with him -- hopefully not giving him the wrong impression.

Eventually my feet started to hurt. I was wearing my cute boots, so its unsurprising as they have a heel, but we just kept going till about 2:30 at which point we went downstairs to get into cabs. Bill, JRob and Katie were in my cab. At the beginning of the night Katie and I had set up tabs together and were like "Go drink for drink tonight." to each other, but then Katie had about 10 and I had 5, so apparently it was for every one of mine, she had two.

We were almost at school when Katie hurled. She was quite drunk, unfortunately, and quite upset about it. The cab driver freaked out about it, and said there was a cleaning fee ($30) and then we didn't have enough cash, plus I had already wiped up as much as I could with my sweatshirt. Anyways, me and the cab driver went down to 711 to get cash, and I was annoyed with the cab driver for basically being mean. I finally got back and got to take off my shoes which was great, but my feet were killing me still.

They still hurt actually, but I have to go shower and do boards and clean my room oh god, cleaning my room. Two boards left though, and people seem to like my boards so yay. :D
winterseaspray: (Default)
The Westboro Church is coming to my campus to protest, as far as I can tell, our existence.

American is a very liberal college campus. There is a reason why I go here, after all. So I can understand why they might see something wrong with us, but coming to our campus to wander around and yell at people seems rather stupid. The school is not going to shut down because they came. The students are not going to change because they came (indeed, the counter-protest is already swelling in numbers). So they come to protest our existence, and that is just ridiculous.

Still, there is something terribly alarming about these people. Their lack of care and respect for the world around me physically makes me feel ill. I'm not angry with them, I'm just... disappointed. How can there be people out there who have only got anger and fear mongering, and no sense of common decency?

Kat's way of deal it is to shrug it off, ignore them, and there are merits to this. After all, these people need an audience in order for there to be a reason for them to be listened to. If no one shows up to hear them, then they seem even more stupid. If everyone was smart they wouldn't show up to counter protest.

Unfortunately, our side also has some anger issues.

These people know how to insight the worst in people and in doing so, they bring out their audiences. Someone said in a comment that there is no point to arguing with these people, they are cold and hard, and nothing you say will sway them, and I am a strong believer that it is true. Again the logical thing to do is to ignore them, but like a bully who is bored, these people will not stop until they have someone to preform for, and so they will seek out those that will fight them.

I can't just ignore these people. Ignoring them feels like it comes from a place of fear for me, not because of the logical conclusion that ignoring them is best. I fear, not their damnations, or their words, but their effect on other people. I want to stand up to them. I know its not worth it, they won't change, but deep down, the part of me that is afraid of them, I want to stand up because that way, I can face my own fears, and when the world changes, when things go wrong, I can know I was on the right side, and prove it with action.
winterseaspray: (Default)
I am getting a little bored of the end of year wrap up questionnaire I use, but for consistency I think I'll have to continue doing it. Mostly because it makes a good comparison for later. So here it is, the end of year wrap up by yours truely. Anyone have any suggestions for good end of year memes?

End of the Year )

Oh! I thought of one. I'm going to reset all the counts of my music tonight at midnight. So, for the sake of memory -- My top 100 played songs of the year )
winterseaspray: (David Tennant = <3)
Christmas! It was actually pretty good this year. My mother's best friend in England is here, and it made life much better because she helped with dinner. We had twelve people over, which caused some problems in terms of space, but it was all right. And then I watched the Doctor Who Christmas Special which made me bouncy and happy. I still am not in love with Matt Smith, but I quite like him. I think he may have replaced Chris, but I'm a bit iffy on that. I'm working on it.

Yuletide happened. Oh god, Kat's was so EPIC. I was up till 5 with her on Christmas eve (though, I slept for like 3 hours in there) helping her. Made me feel slightly guilty that I did not write more for mine -- but you know what, I'm not that good at writing angst anymore. I used to be quite good at it, but I've been attempting different things and am out of practice.

I got two fics, Cara/Kahlan (!!) and Dora/Marten (!!) which were both cute and fluffy and just LOVELY. Exactly what I wanted. :D

I am working now on more editing stuff. Alice/Ian/Molly stuff is spinning round my head and I think, just think, that I might actually be able to fix a giant problem I had (namely chapter nine -.- which is now chapter eight). I'm meandering -- looking for a job. Oh god the job thing.

Anyways, I think I'm going to watch a couple of shows now. Sherlock is the new Steve Moffat thing which I think I'll look into. Probs Merlin because of Anthony Head. Hmmm, BBC television, you are so much better then most American stuff. Though, there is some good stuff on USA, like Pysch. I want Kat to be awake so we can watch the finale.
winterseaspray: (Will Do Magic For Food)

Oh family occasions. Nothing like them to remind yourself that you are not like these people. There is something about being around my brother, mother and father that reminds me intensely that I am the strange one.

Sure my dad likes science, and is all nerdy, but he is not nerdy in the way I am nerdy. My brother likes sci-fi, but he is not into any of the things I am and he doesn't read. My mother and I both love to read, but she seems to never have time for it, and when she does, she doesn't retain the words.

Last night at dinner they were discussing drawing and my parents wanted to pull out all of my father's stuff from when he was Jasper's age, because apparently they were very similar. I didn't see it. But the point was, my brother went off on science people, and how they have it so easy, and don't understand how hard art can be.

I grew up in this house. I know art is not easy. But what the hell does he think I've been doing? I just sit around apparently, and don't learn anything worth while. I wanted to punch him.

I work very, very hard to do well in school, to get a job doing something that I will at least enjoy even if it isn't my dream career. I will always be a writer, which I think they understand, but I don't think they understand how much I want to know, to be.

When I told my parents I wanted to be a doctor, instead of being happy, they were confused. They thought I should spend all my time writing, since it is what I love. They were supportive until I told them I had changed my mind, at which point there was another scene of them telling me how glad they were I wasn't going to med school.

What person has ever been told that they shouldn't become a doctor by their parents? It would be different if I were bad at science, and didn't like people (I know, I know), but I do actually like people, and I do want to help people in some way other then painting a pretty picture.

I'm the black sheep for doing something responsible and worth while with my college degree. I am not my brother, not my father or my mother. I don't understand what good drawing is and what bad drawing is (they discussed this last night).

And they wonder why I don't like being home.

Dear Santa

Nov. 19th, 2010 08:23 pm
winterseaspray: (David Tennant = <3)
Kat has once again convinced me into doing this :P

So here we are yuletide santa.

A letter to you )
winterseaspray: (David Tennant = <3)
Its weird looking at things that have changed over the years. This is something I wrote almost seven years ago now in this journal. I'm doing it again with myself. The original list can be found here.
1. Copy my whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that you have in common with me.
3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you.
4. Say you took it from me.
5. Post.

01. I hate small talk. This has mellowed to a general distaste for shallow relationships in which all you do is small talk. I am not a fan of small talk, but it has its uses.
02. I hate it when peole fight over stupid things. Probably as a result of my avoidance of conflict more then disliking the fighting. It is also somewhat true that I think real fighting over anything is a waste of time. Just have a conversation.
03. I am a collector of books. No way this would have changed.
04. I also collect DVDs. Extended Editions are the best. Why else buy the DVD when you can download it? I think this is more of a reflection of the changing times then a change in myself.
05. I am a British Citizen. Now I am also an American Citizen.
06. I love wind, and the way it makes your hair go everywhere and how it makes you feel like you could fly...
07. I am a mac person. I have the MacBook and the iPhone to prove it. However, both of them are older generations then the current ones. I am okay with this, as I prefer the old style of phone, and changing computers is super annoying.
08. I hate people who TypE LyKe D1s. Yeah, that wasn't going to change.
09. I love biology. Its why I'm majoring in it. Loving something makes it easier.
10. I have a specific type of journal that I write in for my general thoughts, writing and its probably where I am most honest, because no one is ever going to read it but me.
11. I think crying is a sign of self pity. I hate it when I cry or other people cry. This doesn't mean that I don't think its good. I actually no longer think that crying is a sign of self pity -- it depends on the situation -- but the part about hating it is true. Crying people make me uncomfortable.
12. I don't mind pop culture at all. In fact, I think it's fascinating. And I kind of like it now.
13. The area that I have changed most dramatically in the past seven years is TV consumption. I went from not watching TV to watching ridiculous amounts.
14. I love stories, no matter what the medium.
15. I am anti-social. People are still annoying and making plans sometimes seems like it is harder to do then sitting at home and doing nothing. But I do enjoy the presence of others most of the time.
16. My perception of relaity is governed by science.
17. I don't like being wrong. Sometimes I am and then I feel stupid. I am often wrong (which is the opposite of what I said seven years ago).
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I get three magazines that I read in order to feel like I'm getting something about the world: National Geographic, The New Yorker and Time.
20. I talk to myself all the time.
21. I hate the color orange. I was a very dramatic person back then. Hate is a strong word. Dislike is better.
22. I think green and red look REALLY BAD together.
23. I like to appear knowledgeable about my areas of interest, and have my opinions heard.
24. I am far to un-emotionally attached. I don't like having to be commited to one place and one time. See, my plans for after school.
25. I would prefer to be rich and famous to being happy and loved. Though to be honest, this is changing. Its on the cusp though.
26. I like it when people try and break away from the norm. Even if they fail and fall into one of the sub categories... for the most part.
27. I love hearing new kinds of (good) music.
28. I'm a shy person. Its a result of several psychological blows to my self esteem.
29. My favorite cereal is Multigrain Cheerios.
30. I want a dog and a cat. A small dog and a cat that has been settled in before the dog comes along. Though currently I am debating the dog. They don't live as long. If you guys didn't know, which you wouldn't, and I am totally burying this: Tillie's got cancer and she is probably going to die in the next six months.
31. I have a dog and two cats.
32. I want to help people.
33. I procrastinate. A LOT. Dude, look what I'm doing right now?
34. Novels are easier to write then short stories, but sometimes I worry that doing one over the other will result in me loosing some potential.
35. I worry that I will be one of those people who want to become authors, but get trapped in another job.
36. My favorite TV show is Doctor Who.
37. I love designing dresses, and I love wearing them. Which is weird since I only have one sundress.
38. My favorite author is Neil Gaiman.
39. I spend too much time on the computer.
40. Chocolate is awesome. I like it because of the way it tastes and also because I know the mechanism by which it works on your brain to make you feel happy upon eating it.
41. Gifts are cool. I just don't know how to say 'thank you' to any gift. No matter how thankful I may be. I recently have begun telling people to not buy me a gift unless they think its absolutely perfect and right for me.
42. People who are distressed worry me. Always will.
43. I hate it when someone asks to many annoying questions.
45. I've only been in love once and it was not reciprocated (well it might have been, but as far as I know it wasn't). I want to be in love again. If only I didn't go to a school where a lot of gay guys come and didn't live on an all girls floor.
46. I am busy a lot of the time.
47. Women can be just as sexist towards men as men are to women. That doesn't mean I can't hate them.
48. Even though I support feminism, I like it when men are courteous to women. I also like it when women are courteous to men.

49. I am an atheist, and it is a very important part of my self identity.
50. I try really hard to understand people. I'm not saying I have succeeded. But I have gotten better.
51. I understand that there is always going to be pain in the world. I want to alleviate it.
52. I hate it when people bash on others religions. I think now its more 'I am uncomfortable when people bash on others' religions', but I think in some cases it is okay.
53. I'm not afraid to die.
54. Alot of things ANNOY me very badly. Gum chewing, people saying things in a mean fashion, the Jonas Brothers...
55. I am very judgmental.
56. I don't like thinking I'm better then other people.
57. I sometimes do think I'm better then other people.

58. Sometimes I feel bad about my relationship with my brother.
59. I like when my friends write me letters and emails, it makes me feel special.
60. I dislike the word 'love'.
61. I have trust issues.
62. I have never handgilded. I will one day though. With my uncle.
63. I believe in environmental efforts. I'm bad at helping them.
64. I've never done a cartwheel.
65. I have a dream blog.
66. I love to write. More then anything. I am very glad this hasn't changed.
67. I wish people would talk more about themselves.
68. I like listening to people.
69. I want to be an author and write a book that will make people think.
70. I lack interest in obsessive things like spelling, grammer, and other nit picky things. The English language is going to the dump anyways, so why not just mess with it more?
71. I'm completely obsessed with Harry Potter.

72. I like things to look pretty.
73. I listen to books on tape more then I read. I find it easier to do during the school year when reading cuts into other activities, like homework.
74. I think drugs are fascinating.
75. I love how new books smell.
76. I don't read as much as I used to/wish I did.
77. I love to read, books have been my best friend since I was young.
78. I hate giving/receiving hugs.

79. I name electronic appliances. Yes still. Miranda and Elijah are the most important things to be being my computer and phone.
80. I cannot stand being affectionate. Public displays of affection really get to me.
81. I worry that I don't know myself at all. Less so then I think I did back then, but still, sometimes I feel like I have myself worked out, and sometimes I just think that I do, but know I probably don't.
82. I don't want people to think I'm telling them what to do. Which is why passive aggression works so well.
83. I have been verbally attached for my religious beliefs.
84. My favorite movie is "The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring." Yes still.
85. I am rather closed minded. Its an unfortunate side effect of being human.
86. I daydream a lot.
87. I CANNOT draw guys. Or girls. I'm working on it, but they all tend to end up looking the same with different hair.
88. I can't stand flowers because of my name.
89. I believe everyone is entitled to their opions. Its not my fault if they are misguided.
90. I want to smack everyone who believes that racism, sexism, and discrimination based on religion are no longer issues in America.
91. I wish that wars wouldn't happen. I think removing religion from the equation would help, as would making everyone much more empathetic.
92. I don't like good stories to end. This is why I prefer series.
93. Sometimes I wish I had grown up somewhere other then the US.
94. I have never managed to listen to the radio for long. I have found a station in DC that I like tough.
95. Conversly to 88. I love water because of my last name.
96. I no longer feel that I need to lie all the time.
97. I mistrust everyone. No matter how many times they prove themselves.
98. I don't trust my self.

99. I can keep secrets very well.
100. I believe that there is only one life that you get to live and then you're gone. There is no god, no nothing. it's a one shot deal.


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December 2014

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