winterseaspray: ([bones] Painful)
I go through phases with music -- in case you didn't notice. Most recently, my favorite song was 9 Crimes by Damien Rice. But then I got involved with The Walk by Imogen Heap. The Walk felt very good for not only the Adair/Tristin situation, but for my own situation -- that I am not going to talk about but the song doesn't explain the situation... it just feels good -- mostly because of the line it's not meant to be like this, it's not what I planned at all. Anyways, the song recently changed from The Walk to Swing Life Away by Rise Against. I feel it says something about what's going on in my life when my favorite song creeps up from 0 plays to 123.

Actaully Swing Life Away is a perfect song for the end of high school. Its just so... right. Anyway. I love it. I wanted to share.

Also, remember Bryan? Remember him? From freshman year? Yes, the red head who was really tall and who I proceeded to make fun of? Yep. Him. He contacted me through facebook.... and I did something stupid. I opened up the discussion I dread by saying "Sorry for the shitty way I treated you when we broke up."

I don't want to have to explain to him that he was clingy and annoying and I lied about loosing the internet and then made fun of all his letters... Just because that seems mean and I am mean, but I don't want to tell him... Meh.

winterseaspray: ([bones] Omnia Mea Mecum Porto)
So, having second thoughts about prom. I don't really want to go. In fact, I really dont want to go. Its so much effort. Dress, beforehand, afterwards, a lot of time, all those people who are just... there. Meh.

I don't want to have to deal with it as a sort of good bye. Plus then, there is just be being anti-socail slash, not knowing where I want to fit in, or even if I want to fit in and Eddie. I mean, it will be fun with Eddie, but it means I have chosen where I will be, what group because, I can't bring Eddie and be with certain people who don't know him. *sigh*

I'm driving to prom. I'm not getting a limo and spending inordinate amounts of money. I made my dress. Its almost there. I just have to sew up the back... add in a zipper, hem everything, make it look nice. Buy shoes. Ew. So much to do, so much that I just don't want to do.

I also think it has something to do with the fact that I don't want this to be the end of the year. I don't want to graduate. But the thing is, I do. I'm so excited to LEAVE. I want to get out of here, go down to DC and start again. To do it right... not that I did it wrong here, but sometimes... sometimes I feel as if I did.

I've got some friends,
some that I hardly know
But we've had some times,
I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks
of the places that we will go


winterseaspray: (Default)

December 2014

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