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I fought the angels here today...
Mar. 26th, 2007 07:32 amSo West Side is over. It was my last show working backstage. It was my last show at North. Tempest is at South, so it doesn't really count. I felt incredibly mixed about it. I mean, I was upset mostly because last show, and it made me cry and stuff. On the other hand, I did so little for that show. I felt like I was useless. I really felt like I did nothing, and yet I wanted to do something big and great.
Well its over. My last show back stage and I don't even know how I feel about it.
Last night I went home from the cast party and was incredibly angry for no reason I could figure out. I just wanted to listen to angry music really loud and scream along with it. It was not a fun feeling.
Actually, I know what was wrong, I just don't want to deal with it. I want it to go away and die in a corner. I want to be a less awkward person, I want to do alot of things. I don't want this to be my last year at North. I want it to all be over. I want to know where I got in. I want to know where I am going.
Speaking of where I am going: American defered me. But they offered me a place in this mentor program thing for the semseter that I was not admitted into. o.0 Anyways, it was interesting. I don't know, the mentor program could be a good oppurtunity and it would be like starting college in the fall, but I get the feeling that... well, that its for the people who are stupid and need a little bit of a boost. Though why I get that feeling I don't know. I feel rather like they are pitying me and that doesn't feel good. UMass accepted me too, but that matters not. Oh, and McGill rejected me outright. I don't really care. McGill is not somewhere I really loved. I love the city, not the university.
Just downloaded the google desktop bar and its scrolling through pictures and I'm going from Zanzibar and Tanzania to Chalk... its a little strange. Must remember to add the images of chalk and all the stage crew pics. Blah.
I don't know what's wrong with me, except I do. I just don't want the after school part of my life to end. Its kind of true that the people I really wanted to see the past few nights after the show were all backstage (with a few exceptions, but then I didn't see anyone outside, so it really didn't matter). *sigh*
I should go and fix my psych homework. It needs to be done. Hence me taking off the first two blocks of the day.
Well its over. My last show back stage and I don't even know how I feel about it.
Last night I went home from the cast party and was incredibly angry for no reason I could figure out. I just wanted to listen to angry music really loud and scream along with it. It was not a fun feeling.
Actually, I know what was wrong, I just don't want to deal with it. I want it to go away and die in a corner. I want to be a less awkward person, I want to do alot of things. I don't want this to be my last year at North. I want it to all be over. I want to know where I got in. I want to know where I am going.
Speaking of where I am going: American defered me. But they offered me a place in this mentor program thing for the semseter that I was not admitted into. o.0 Anyways, it was interesting. I don't know, the mentor program could be a good oppurtunity and it would be like starting college in the fall, but I get the feeling that... well, that its for the people who are stupid and need a little bit of a boost. Though why I get that feeling I don't know. I feel rather like they are pitying me and that doesn't feel good. UMass accepted me too, but that matters not. Oh, and McGill rejected me outright. I don't really care. McGill is not somewhere I really loved. I love the city, not the university.
Just downloaded the google desktop bar and its scrolling through pictures and I'm going from Zanzibar and Tanzania to Chalk... its a little strange. Must remember to add the images of chalk and all the stage crew pics. Blah.
I don't know what's wrong with me, except I do. I just don't want the after school part of my life to end. Its kind of true that the people I really wanted to see the past few nights after the show were all backstage (with a few exceptions, but then I didn't see anyone outside, so it really didn't matter). *sigh*
I should go and fix my psych homework. It needs to be done. Hence me taking off the first two blocks of the day.
