don't stand so close to me...

I think I'm going a little insane. Parent's driving me mad. Insisting on things that I just have to do. Brother also driving me insane -- by not doing anything. Friends are non-existent, probably due to a lack of my effort, but I'm tired. I don't want to have to do things.

Physics needs to be done and remembered.

Crap.

this city's made for lovers like the sky is made for stars...

It is once again that time of year. Reviewing.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
I sort of, kind of, let go of my home in Newton. I've been in MA for about four weeks out of the year before break. At most. Its less then that really.

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
What is with this question? No, of course I didn't because I would probably fail at keeping it. Resolutions need to be long term commitments that aren't things that have some sort of deadline to be completed by... either that or I just suck at them. ^^;

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
As far as I know, no. Though... who was carrying a baby around recently? Eh, not close enough for me to remember them anyways.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My AP English teacher, who was the person that I wanted to write for but never thought I would. There just aren't words to describe him.

5. What countries did you visit?
HAHAHAHHAHAHA. None. Though I did go to California. Pathetic? Yes. Fun. OF COURSE.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A friend at school that I could easily and without over thinking, ask to go to a movie with me. Seriously, I missed many movies I was excited about because I have no one that I feel comfortable enough with to ask to go to a movie with.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Jan 20 -- because YES WE CAN.
Jul 14 -- because it was super fun to go to a Harry Potter premiere again, even if it was for a movie that doesn't make sense. Plus, walking home from Bethesda at 4am = fun.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
My NaNo. I know this sounds annoying and weird, but this year is the first year that I feel comfortable in the narrative. I'm at 80,000 words thus far (actually, more like 86,000) and I know where I am going, what I am cutting, and how to make the story stronger. Pretty good for a novel that originally I thought would fit into a short story because I didn't think it had a middle. I think it helps that its a Molly/Ian/Alice novel and they are annoying characters who demand large amounts of time afforded to them.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I dunno. Not doing all I could in order to become friends with people. I should have tried harder, but I just didn't have the energy, or the will to do it. Luckily I was super busy during the school year and summer staff tends to help out. Curiously my closer friends at school are all guys... Odd turn of events for me.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
I had a terrible, terrible cold in June. And at the beginning of October I lost my voice for the first time in almost ten years. Scary isn't it?

11. What was the best thing someone bought you?
Um. I'm trying to think. Christmas kind of sucked in general because I got three things from my parents and nothing from my brother or friends (not blaming them, but it means I got three things) and my birthday kind of sucked in that respect as well. My favorite present was a pair of earrings from my grandmother that had belonged to my mother, but they weren't really bought specifically for me. I am difficult to buy for, I know, because I buy the easiest thing to get for me -- DVDs -- when they are on sale seemingly in bulk (BTW, gotta add BSG to my list of owned DVDs x.x It was on sale, I now have three of the six box sets of the four seasons... hello money making schemes?), so I don't really blame people.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mother, strangely, has been pretty good recently. I think, because I overheard her talking about it with her friends, that when we went to talk to a therapist, she finally understood what the hell I was talking about when I asked her not to talk about it. Pressure relieved from her a little -- plus I gave a little and tried to show that I wasn't just ignoring her. Also, my mother has been awesome about my dad, who lost his job in August and has been moping, and you can tell the pressure it puts on her to have to deal with him all the time. Kat, of course, because I am annoying and she puts up with me. Clif, because I love him (not that way, he's gay... or bi... At the moment he's gay, because he's with a guy... ish). Sarah (my roommate who is as bland as Jane was), because she again, puts up with me and is a pretty good roommate all things considered.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My father somehow managed to make me backslide at Thanksgiving. My brother -- as per usual he just made things more stressful while home. Definitely fucked over Christmas for me (as in, I tried to help him and he yelled at me, not that he didn't give me a present). In some ways my mother, but I'm pretty good on her at the moment.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Where do you think? *hides House, BSG 3, 4.0 and 4.5 that she bought in the last week*

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Obama. Harry Potter. BSG. The fact that A Wizard on Mars might actually have a publication date! Garth Nix possibly writing the Sabriel script. New characters. Proof copy of a novel in book form. Barney and Robin being together. Dollhouse's renewal.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Love Game - Lady GaGa because Kat made an amusing comment about it and now its in my top played. Also, Time Lapse Lifeline by Maria Taylor.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Probably happier, though at the moment, having seen no one but my parents in a looooong while, I'm unsure because the insanity is creepy in.
b) fatter or skinner? About the same (YES! Could be more exciting to be skinner, but at the moment maintaining my weight is really exciting... sad, yes, do I care, not really).
c) richer or poorer? Poorer. As in $40,000 in debt due to college. Started taking out loans. Joy.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Met new people. Admittedly, I reconnected with people, and the new people I do know, I quite like. I really wish that I had managed to do a bit more though, and actually connected, instead of putting up thousands of little barriers.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Spend time alone. I don't mind. I actually quite like only depending on myself, but it means that spending time with people is harder for me now because I need time off. Not too much time, but I need not to be on twenty four seven.

20. How do you plan to spend Christmas?
Well, I cooked the meal with my brother. It was our first time cooking a meal together. It was actually informative, because now I could probably manage to roast a chicken, and possibly a turkey. Then there is that little detail of hating it.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Um. Ish? I dunno. Not sure. Probably not if I'm not sure.

22. How many one night stands?
Thousands. (Really? Again?)

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Dollhouse. I loooooove Joss Whedon, and while Dollhouse started slow, it was beautiful in its scope and what it wanted to do. I am so sad its ending.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Apparently I didn't hate Liisa this time last year. Well I do now. I fucking despise her. I'd like her to get an STD and die from it. Or you know, end up in Maine alone and infertile. Oh a more positive note, I no longer dislike Maura. I don't think I will ever be friends with her, but we get along quite well and she's amusing. She's a desk receptionist with me, hence.

25. What was the best book you read?
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, or The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins are books I read this year that are new. Re-reading I've got HP, because I had forgotten how much I love HP. I reread it over this summer. And of course, Young Wizards and Little Women.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery of the year?
Lady GaGa, hands down. Not that I didn't find some other great stuff -- because really, there is some awesome stuff out there -- but Lady GaGa is fun, and silly and light and I just like listening to some of her stuff. Also -- Glee. The show has issues, of course, and I'm not crazy about it in the way that many people are, and I like to point out its flaws, but I like listening to the music and its funny and cute and I like what they're attempting.

27. What did you want and get?
DVDs, duh.

28. What did you want and not get?
Close, personal friends. Except, Bryan sort of counts despite our relationship revolving around the desk?

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Films came out this year? I kind of think I only saw HP6, Rocky Horror, and Avatar. Should work on that perhaps...

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I am the lamest of lame lames. My 21st birthday I went to Chipolte by my self, got a slushie from 7/11 and went home to study for a midterm I had the next day at 9:55am in Neurological Bases of Behavior. I haven't gotten drunk since then either (meaning, I didn't drink on my 21st birthday).

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not being scared of commitment?

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Off the rack, boring, boringness.

33. What kept you sane?
Writing, as per usual. TV. TV was useful in that respect. Getting a job over the summer that kept me in DC.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nathan Fillion? Castle is amazing, I forgot to mention above, as is Lie to Me, but Nathan Fillion is in Castle and he's so pretty. Rider Strong appeared in Castle recently and reminded me of how much of a crush I have on him. Tahmoh Penikett from Dollhouse (and BSG... okay should probably credit BSG before Dollhouse, but in BSG he's pretty in a sci-fi kind of way, and in Dollhouse he wears a suit which ups the ante like, a million times). Hugh Laurie, because, he is oh so sexy. Neil Gaiman, because -- guh his talent.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
I continue to get pissed at people who call Obama a socialist like 1. its a bad thing and 2. he is. Obama's a democrat (and compared to what I might like, he's moderate). Also the stupidity of Fox.

36. Who do you miss?
DePeter. Kat being around in person. Eddie.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Madeline. She had not appeared this time last year. Bryan because... well, he's the boy from the long rant earlier. Clif, because he is awesome and I will miss him living on my floor, but its okay because we're in a class together again. Matt W, for being my lovely RA, and Matt M for being himself. Merielle and Lauren. Alicia and Angela. Eric Lynch. Most of Summer Staff, lets be honest. Caitlin (an RA in Nebraska). The list could go on and on.

38. What was the best thing you ate?
Tarimasu last night. Gotta be honest, probably the best thing ever.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?
The amount you care for someone can be measured in how willing you are to forgive them for what they have done to you. Kat -- this means you. :P Also, Dany, this means you. (kidding, I love you both).

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up the year.
You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

Fireflies - Owl City